Pin Up Girl
by fictionadict24
Summary: Sam does something completely out of character to prove to her favorite General that she is not DULL. When he finally gets an eyeful, Jack realises that he is not to happy with the entire male population seeing that much of his Colonal.
1. PinUp Girl

Sam looked at the letterhead in front of her, Stars and Stripes Magazine. "Congratulations, you have been chosen to be one of the lucky women to be featured in the annual "Women in Uniform Calendar." Thousands of women sent in applications, yada, yada, yada……"

She still couldn't believe Cassie had sent her picture and application in six months ago. She had sent in a picture of Sam from their last vacation. Sam was wearing a bikini and matching sarong. She had to admit it wasn't a bad picture. The thought of posing like that for a calendar, where thousands of people would see it…. she was petrified.

The calendar was famous. Every year it raised millions of dollars for the D.A.V. and the Air Force Children's Hospital. Each January after its release, there was then a huge fund raiser where each of the women in the calendar was "auctioned" off for a fancy evening out. All proceeds going to the charities. Between the calendar profit and the auction, a new wing had been added to the hospital and the D.A.V. received enough funding to build another rec-center.

Sam knew it was for a good cause, but she just couldn't accept. She typed out a very polite rejection letter explaining that she was not the one who sent in her application, just a very well meaning god-daughter. She placed it in an envelope and stuffed it in her jacket to mail out later.

While deep in thought she was interrupted by General O'Neill. "You ready?" He asked as he poked his head into her lab.

"Yah, I just have to go get changed. I'll meet you all topside." She replied not really paying him any attention.

They all sat in O'Malley's Pub laughing over dinner and beers. O'Neill was making fun of Daniel for being so boring. Daniel had been discussing some new ancient language he had just mastered, language number 26 and still counting. O'Neill couldn't resist, he was relentless.

Sam decided to join in. "I think we all know more about ancient things than we ever thought we would." She said with a laugh.

O'Neill suddenly chimed back in. "You should talk Carter," he said with a smirk "you have probably never done anything remotely exciting."

"Excuse me, Sir" said Sam, a bit surprised at what she was hearing.

"You heard me," said Jack "name one thing exciting or spontaneous you have done…. outside of work."

Sam was stumped. She couldn't. There was her bike, but that was nothing unusual, a lot of people rode Harley's. She guessed she did so much off world that she liked her "boring life."

"Well," she tried to reply.

"See," said Jack "I am the only one around here who leads a somewhat exciting life outside of work."

Sam thought about the envelope in her pocket. She didn't have to mail it.

She could just imagine their jaws dropping when they opened up next years' calendar; she knew they all bought it.

She then made a mental note. _I will show him I can be spontaneous and exciting._

Three months later Sam sat in her trailer/dressing room completely regretting her decision. Cassie was with her for support. She was the one who got her into this mess to begin with.

They had told the General that they were going on a cruise for a mini-vacation.

"You look fantastic!" gushed Cassie. Sam was getting her hair and make-up done. The crew was working feverishly, plucking, waxing, curling and painting every inch of Sam's body. A few places she couldn't even imagine needing to be done.

Then there were her three outfits. It wasn't decided which month she would be so they were going to shoot her as several different ones, July, September and December.

Her least favorite was July, a red, white and blue bikini. At least the others were outfits. December was an evening gown and September was a pair of overall shorts and cropped Air Force tank top.

Cassie had a great time at Sam's expense. She was in hysterics the entire time. First Sam was posed in the evening gown on a veranda. Fake snow was being blown onto her as she gazed upon a beautiful Christmas tree. _I can handle this_, she thought to herself.

Next she was dressed in the overalls and was perched with a pitchfork on a bale of hay at some dusty old barn. Horses milled in the background and chickens were pecking at her feet. Cassie said she looked like Daisy Duke. Sam was none too pleased. Her overalls were a bit on the short side, and the tank top a bit on the snug side. She looked into the mirror at her own shocking reflection. _Who was this woman? _Long legs and an ample figure now seemed very pronounced compared to the baggy BDU's she was accustomed to seeing herself in. She felt like she was blushing from head to toe.

Finally came July, Sam was now at the beach in the infamous bikini complete with a stars and stripes surfboard. This, of course, was the one that Cassie liked the best. All Sam could think about was how cold it seemed. _Couldn't she change back into the overalls? They didn't seem quite so short right now. _

She had to admit it; in the end she had a lot of fun. Everyone was super nice to her and Cassie. She even felt really good about her appearance. They did all the things she normally never had time to do or even think about. _She wondered if anyone on base would notice._

Wouldn't you know it? The next month Sam received a letter congratulating her for being named "Miss July!" She was sent copies of the other pictures, but the July shots would remain unreleased until after the calendar was published.

The next months passed uneventful - besides the usual world-saving stuff. Then it came, her preview copy.

She flipped through it looking at the other months. It was tastefully done. There were no cheesy half-naked poses. Each woman was dressed in a season appropriate ensemble. February was red and pink, March in green, etc. etc. No one was sprawled over a sports car.

Then she came to July.

There she was standing on the beach, the waves breaking at her feet. She was holding the surfboard and was slightly leaning against it. Her hair was a bit wild and wind blown, she even looked very tan, thanks to the bronzer they had slathered her with. The bikini did not look as tiny as she remembered. She liked it, she actually liked the photo.

The next month it hit the stores. When the day arrived that she knew it was going to start being circulated on base she got ready for work very early, nervous as a cat.

She arrived on base around 0500, to beat morning rush, she convinced herself. A few hours later in her lab she looked into the mirror. "Well, this is it girl, it's now or never." No matter how much she wanted to she couldn't hide there forever, at least not without coffee.

She walked into the cafeteria for breakfast with her head held high. A few of the men looked at her in slight awe, blushing as she passed. She just smiled, nodded and walked by.

Sam decided to stay in her lab as much as she could for the rest of the day.

At lunch it was the same. Lots of glances and smiles. Lt. Simmons couldn't even look at her. He turned scarlet red and darted out of the room.

She didn't have to worry about Daniel or General O'Neill because they were in D.C. until tomorrow.

Teal'c just raised his eyebrow at her and smiled with brotherly affection. Sam could tell he was a bit shocked, but still proud that she had done something so out of her character.

_This certainly had to have something to do with O'Neill, _thought Teal'c.

Jack sat on his sofa and opened his beer. He took the calendar out of its wrapper and opened it. Daniel had handed it to him and said with a big goofy smile "It's going to be a hot July."

Jack scanned each month. It amazed him that each of these women were in the military. He couldn't remember anyone looking this good in boot-camp.

January was a pilot. February was a computer technician. Each month featured a beautiful woman in some kind of outfit. On the very bottom of each month was a picture of her in full uniform and a short bio.

Then he turned the page. Man was she hot! Curvy, great legs… then he looked a bit closer. "WHAT THE HELL!" he yelled out loud as he dropped the calendar and his beer.

_It couldn't be_. He picked up the calendar and flipped back to July. He closed his eyes as if to avoid seeing it again. Slowly he opened them and looked. _No, no, no, not Sam, not his Colonel Carter_. He quickly looked down at the uniformed photo and bio.

Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter

P.H.D. Astrophysics

N.O.R.A.D.

Colorado Springs, Colorado

Deep Space Radar Telemetry

He stared at her uniformed picture. Not yet daring to look back at the bikini clad Colonel holding the surfboard. Every impure thought he had ever had about her was finding its way back into his head. He tried so hard to keep them suppressed. They would always creep their way back to the surface anytime she would lean too close or brush up against him, the smell of her perfume, her special smile he knew was reserved just for him.

_Shit, he had to sit down. First he would get another beer, or maybe something a bit stronger_.

He downed the new beer then opened another, swiping the cold bottle against his forehead to help him cool down. _Why? _He thought to himself.

_Then he got angry – no not angry, _he realized_ – jealous!_

All he could think of were the countless men looking at her, seeing her in "that way." Doing god knows what! They were now seeing what he had only dreamed of seeing.

How was he going to look at her in the eye tomorrow without all of his thoughts jumping out of his head and his big-mouth? He wished he had a job where he could call in sick.

The next day Sam ran into Daniel at breakfast.

"Samantha, you sly thing you" he said as he sat down across from her.

"What ever could you mean Daniel" she replied with a smile.

"Miss July" he said waggling his eyebrows at her.

"Cassie sent in the application and I had every intention of rejecting the offer" she stated very flatly.

"Then?" he asked.

"Remember that night at O'Malley's when the General was harassing us about being dull? Well, I had the rejection letter in my pocket and I tore it up that night. The rest as they say is history" she said.

"Have you seen Jack yet?" asked Daniel.

"No, why" she asked "do you think he's seen it?"

"Oh, I know he has" said Daniel "I gave it to him."

"You what" said Sam as she reached over and playfully, but still meaning it, smacked Daniel on the arm.

"I couldn't resist," said Daniel with a big smile and now rubbing his sore arm. "After I saw it, I just knew Jack had to have a copy for himself. Hey, it's not like he doesn't buy it every year anyway. I just wanted to be extra sure."

Sam gave a half-hearted grin and looked down at her coffee cup. Suddenly she was not feeling so confident in her decision.

She didn't see the General that entire day. He kept himself busy as much as possible, meeting after meeting, out to lunch with General Hammond then straight home. He was just grateful no mission briefings were scheduled.

The next morning Sam was still getting looks from people. A few of the women were still a bit cold to her but she was used to that. Being the highest ranking woman on base and the commander of SG1 had its difficulties, though it was only a select few that bothered her.

She had already signed autographs, bowed to standing ovations and disappointed some when she let them know that she was not going to auction off the "bikini and surfboard" for charity. _What were those men thinking of_, she thought to herself_. It was probably better not dwell on it. Yuck!_

General O'Neill was still nowhere to be found. By late afternoon Sam actually had to go looking for him. She needed him to review and sign a budget request.

She found him in his office buried in paperwork.

Sam knocked on the door. "Sir," she asked "do you have a minute?"

O'Neill looked up surprised to see her. He then surprised himself, he could feel himself blushing. His next thoughts were; _did I really just blush, oh, shit!_

"Uh, sure Carter what is it?" Jack stammered with a little bit of a squeak in his voice, barely regaining composure.

Jack sat there cursing himself as every impure thought he had ever had about her yet again raced through his head. _Did I just blush again? _he thought._ Oh shit, shit, shit!_

Sam continued, "I need a signature on this budget request."

"Sure," he said, "is this the one for that new electro micro-scope thingy?"

"Yes," she said with a laugh "the new electro micro-scope thingy."

Sam thought for a minute then plunged ahead.

"Listen, Sir" she continued. "I am sure you are aware of my latest "non-boring, exciting, spontaneous escapade."

_So that was it, _he thought, remembering their conversation at O'Malley's_. She was very offended by his remark that she was boring. She must have done this to prove him wrong. Sweet!_

"Yes, Carter, I am well aware of the calendar." Said Jack in the most serious tone he could muster. "Did you really think it was wise? Do you know what men do with that calendar?"

"No, Sir, what do they do?" _She had him now_.

"THINGS!" he shouted.

"What things?" She said innocently, _she loved to see him squirm_.

"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" he shouted.

"Sir, I haven't the slightest idea what you could be talking about. Cassie sent in my picture and application without my knowing. When I was chosen, from _thousands _of applications mind you, I decided I would do it for the good of the charities."

"CARTER, YOUR BEAUTY IS NOT IN QUESTION HERE. WHAT ABOUT THE AUCTION?" He continued to shout. The idea of her being bid on was too much for him to handle.

_So he thinks I'm beautiful,_ Sam thought to herself before responding to his question. "What about the auction?" She asked, beginning to get angry herself. "I will also be going away a few weekends for personal appearances."

"SO YOUR GOING TO BE A MODEL NOW!" he continued to shout.

"NO, I am not going to take up modeling as a career" steamed Sam, "it's all a part of being Miss July, morale for the troops and all that."

"Yes, I know," he said "it's obvious by all of your adoring fans. I thought Simmons was going to have a stroke."

_So he noticed, _she thought to herself.

"I promise you, Sir" said Sam "this will not interfere with my duties at the SGC."

"THAT IS NOT THE POINT!" he continued to shout.

"THEN WHAT IS THE POINT?" she shouted back. She knew where this was going. It wasn't anything to do with the SGC. It was the fact that men were now looking at her, men besides the gawky Simmons.

Sam continued to yell, "YOU CAN'T ACCEPT THE FACT THAT OTHER MEN THINK I'M ATTRACTIVE!"

"What?" he asked suddenly not yelling anymore. "That's ridiculous."

"No it's not" said Sam. "You were fine when no one dared to take notice of me. I was always the untouchable Carter. Even if they did, you had every man on this base scared to death. The infamous unwritten rule; they knew that you would assign them to some god forsaken planet at the end of the universe if they even looked at me twice. You could have me all to yourself and at the same time keep me at a safe distance. Jack's little china doll, kept safe up on its shelf."

Sam continued, taking in deep breaths to control the sobs. "Now it's different, you are not the only one who can look at me that way. I guess this thing finally made that statement. Well, get used to it Jack, because unless you plan on doing something about it, I just might accept a few of the offers that have come my way recently."

With that she turned on her heel and stormed away.

Jack sat with his mouth gaping. _My God was it that obvious? She called me Jack, she never calls me Jack._

He stayed clear of her for the rest of the day. He had to sort some things out first.

That evening while driving home he found himself driving straight to Carters. When he got up to the front door he heard music blaring. He knocked and knocked… no answer. He was getting worried. He looked inside and saw a mess of books across the hallway floor. He tried the door – no good – he slammed all of his weight into it and broke the lock.

He looked around and couldn't find her. He got out his gun and checked throughout her first floor. No Carter. He opened the door to her basement and crept slowly down the stairs. The music was growing louder. He heard a noise that sounded like someone breathing heavy and struggling.

He turned the corner with his gun pointing forward….

"AHHHH!" Sam screamed.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" she yelled at him. She was running full speed on her treadmill, music blaring in the background.

Jack lowered his gun and holstered it on his back.

"ME! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" he yelled back at her.

"Working out, what does it look like? Why did you come down here with your gun out?" she asked.

Before he could answer she ran upstairs. She had on a pair of running shorts and a cropped Lycra running tank. She was glistening with sweat and very flushed.

Jack was trying to keep his head straight and stop himself from obviously staring at her.

He tried to think of anything else… _Hammond Naked_… _Ah, that did it._

He ran up after her. When he reached the top, she was examining her busted door.

"Why the hell did you bust my door?" she scolded him.

"I saw the books and …. YOU DIDN'T ANSWER YOU DOOR!" he shouted.

"DO YOU BREAK DOWN EVERYONE'S DOOR WHO DOEN'T ANSWER IT?" she continued to yell "YOU HAVE A KEY YOU IDIOT!"

"I forgot about my key. Listen, I didn't come here to fight with you." he said.

"Then what the hell did you come here for?" said Sam.

"I want to apologize" said Jack, now not so much yelling but trying to calm things down.

"What, for being a self-absorbed, selfish ass. Fine, thank you for coming by – good bye," said Sam as she held her now broken door open for him to leave.

Jack was starting to see red again. "Hey, I'm not the one who posed half-naked for a pin-up calendar."

"What is that supposed to mean! Was I supposed to ask your permission?" she yelled. Since when do you dictate what I can and cannot do in my private life! Last time I checked there were no rings on our fingers. Oh, yah, I forgot, you are just so well known for following regulations. Let's not add yet another black mark on your foot thick file with the pentagon."

"Hey, just because I didn't want every other man on earth to see….." he started.

She cut him off, "What, to see me as a woman? Too late Jack, the secret is out. I am flesh and blood with feelings and everything."

Jack was getting so frustrated. He was trying to explain. She wouldn't let him get a word in edgewise.

He looked at her, her chest was heaving from yelling. He couldn't resist it any longer. He had to shut her up and he knew just the way to do it.

Jack slammed the door that she was holding open. He then reached out and pulled her up into an amazing kiss.

She was startled but did not hesitate to kiss him back.

He could feel her pulling him back into the house and down the hallway. He knew where she was headed and it was the exact same place he wanted to go.

He knew it was a serious cliché but he did it anyway. He bent down and picked her up carrying her the rest of the way. Still kissing her, he literally dropped down on top of her onto the bed.

She had her own ideas. She flipped him over and straddled him, devouring him in another kiss.

There were no calendars, no regulations and no SG1. Only the moment mattered and how long they had both wanted this very thing.

They fell asleep from sheer exhaustion waking around 3:00 am, dying of thirst and starving.

They raided Sam's fridge and cupboards.

Sitting at the table, Jack in his Bart Simpson boxers and Sam in his t-shirt, they smiled at each other over tall glasses of ice-cold milk and a pie that they were both attacking with their forks – no plates necessary.

"I love pie," said Jack with a big grin.

"Me to Sir," said Sam.

"Uh, Sam" said Jack, stretching his back trying to regain some of its elasticity. "I don't think after what just happened in that bedroom," Sam just smiled coyly at him, "the living room, and the kitchen. Well, I really think we should be on a first name basis."

Sam laughed as she reached for another fork full of pie "sorry, force of habit."

"So," Jack added "I guess I should bring my checkbook to the auction next month."

EPILOGUE:

Jacob and his friend crept silently through the house. As gently as he could he turned the doorknob to his fathers study and they snuck inside. He quickly closed the door and switched on the light.

"Quick, over here" he whispered to his best friend Chris. Jacob opened the cabinet at the bottom of the entertainment center. Inside it revealed his fathers prized "The Simpson's" DVD collection.

"Here put this one in," Chris whispered to Jacob. "I can't believe your mom won't let us watch these." said Chris. "They're just cartoons."

"Yah, I know. When my parents were first married my dad made my mom watch these all the time. She got so sick of them that she banned them to his study and he's only allowed to watch them in here or when she's not home. We watch them all the time together, but she freaks-out about it. She's always saying what a bad influence he is over me. She says I have his warped sense of humor" said Jacob.

"Yah, your dad is so cool" said Chris.

"Mom's a little on the extreme side, but she can be o.k. most of the time, especially when dad is around. She can never stay mad at him for too long" said Jacob. "My little sister is just like her, absolutely no sense of humor."

"Hey what's this?" asked Chris pointing to a calendar on the wall next to the desk.

"Oh, man why did you have to go and find that" complained Jacob.

"What, she's hot! Hey this calendar is 14 years old" said Chris. "Hey wait," he said, reading the caption below, "is that your mom?"

"Yah, my dad hasn't moved that calendar off July since he got it" said Jacob.

"SHUT UP!" said Chris as he sucker punched his friend in the arm.

"Yuck, you can imagine how much I hate seeing that thing every time I come in here!" said Jacob with a sour look on his face.

"Hey, if my mom ever looked like that I wouldn't mind my friends seeing it" said Chris with a weird smile on his face.

"Don't make me have to hurt you" said Jacob.

Suddenly, Jacob heard his mom yelling for him.

"Jacob, Jacob!"

"Jacob Daniel-Teal'c O'Neill, if I find you in your fathers study watching the Simpson's again, so help me God you'll be doing extra physics homework for a month!" yelled Sam from the second floor landing.

Quickly the boys ran out of the room. "No Mom, I was just up here showing Chris Dad's old service medals" yelled Jacob.

"Likely story, hurry up and get washed up for dinner, your Dad and Lizzie will be home soon from Lizzie's swim meet" said Sam. "Christopher, would you like to stay for dinner? Mr. O'Neill will be cooking out on the grill."

The boys were now at the top of the staircase. "Sure thing Mrs. O'Neill" said Chris who was now blushing and looking at Sam with a big grin on his face.

When Jack and Lizzie arrived Sam was in the kitchen getting things ready for dinner. "How did my little dolphin do today?" she asked as she went over and gave her daughter a big hug and a kiss.

"I bested my last timing for the freestyle, but am still a bit slow on my butterfly" said Lizzie as she dumped her gear and ran upstairs to go call one of her friends. "Call me when Dad's finished burning dinner" she said as she was halfway up the stairs.

"Hey, I do not burn dinner!" Jack yelled back at the kitchen door.

"Yes, you do." said Sam as she came over and gave her husband a kiss hello. "Hey, could you PLEASE take down that silly calendar in your study, it's been up for years and I am sick of Jacob's friends seeing it every time they sneak in there to watch your Simpson's DVD's."

"Hey, I am damn proud to be married to a pin-up girl" said Jack as he pulled his wife down onto his lap and passionately kissed her.


	2. PinUp Boy

Sitting at the table, Jack in his Bart Simpson boxers and Sam in his t-shirt, they smiled at each other over tall glasses of ice-cold milk and a pie that they were both attacking with their forks – no plates necessary.

"I love pie," said Jack with a big grin.

"Me to Sir," said Sam.

"Uh, Sam" said Jack, stretching his back trying to regain some of its elasticity. "I don't think after what just happened in that bedroom," Sam just smiled coyly at him, "the living room, and the kitchen. Well, I really think we should be on a first name basis."

Sam laughed as she reached for another fork full of pie "sorry, force of habit."

"So," Jack added "I guess I should bring my checkbook to the auction next month."

O O O O

Jack and Sam had kept it pretty quiet for about a week. They waited to tell Daniel and Teal'c until the weekend team night.

Not surprisingly, they were not at all shocked to learn the results of Sam's new found celebrity. Jack started relaying the story about how he got real jealous and how he was now cashing in part of his 401k to guarantee his outbidding every other man at the auction.

"They can look, but they just can't touch. I don't plan on giving a single one of them the opportunity," huffed Jack. "She's going to be wearing her "Miss July" outfit. I'll have to beat them off with a stick."

"Or Zat gun" piped in Daniel.

"Here, here," said Jack as he clinked his beer bottle with Daniels.

The team enjoyed their pizza and beers. Jack noticed that at one point in the evening Daniel had suddenly become lost in thought.

"Hey, Danny boy, what's got you so quiet," said Jack.

"Nothing," said Daniel "just thinking of the amount of havoc one little picture can cause."

_Why didn't I think of this before, _he thought, _Sam is going to love it._

O O O O

The following Monday, Sam entered her lab as happy as any woman could be. Jack had been continuously apologizing for his jealousy episode and promised to make it up to her. Sam's little genius mind had already come up with at least 20 ways to take advantage of his offer.

As she entered her lab, she switched on the lights and headed to her laptop to check her email. When she reached her desk she noticed her laptop was slightly open. She carefully lifted it up to find a note from Daniel, she recognized the handwriting immediately.

The note read:

Sam,

All is fair in love and war right? Well get ready to have some fun. I was soo tempted to post this up all over the base. Why not? Everyone has seen yours, why not this one? Oh, and you now owe me BIG TIME!

Love, Daniel

P.S.In "General" isn't September your favorite month of the year?

Under the note was a calendar Sam lifted off the note and read the title "Men in Uniform 1980." Sam thought to herself, _if this has what I think it has, I am so going to be loving life._

She just couldn't help it. She had to take her time. She looked at each of the months, enjoying each one as she turned the page. Then she came to August. She held her breath and turned the page.

There he was. Mr. September, Captain Jonathan O'Neill, USAF, Demolition Expert, Washington D.C.

Jack was shirtless wearing a pair of very faded Levis with just a hint of his briefs showing where his thumb was hitched at his waistband. He was leaning against a pitchfork that was stuck into a bail of hay. His body was glistening in the sun. His well tanned, well defined, very hard…. well Sam had to fan herself a bit.

She really loved Jack's body. It was like a roadmap that had thousands of great stories to tell. Even at 50 it was still very well defined and muscular. This photo was of a Jack who was 25 years younger. He was a bit more built up in the photo, but she still recognized every inch.

This was priceless. How could he have possibly gotten upset with her photo when he had done it himself 25 years ago? At least she wasn't topless in hers.

She continued to look at the calendar photo until her phone rang, it was Daniel.

"Do you like my little surprise?" he asked her.

"Daniel, I truly owe you one," laughed Sam as she held the calendar up in front of her. "Where did you get this? Anything you want, just name it and it's yours."

"I expect your first born child to be named after me," he said.

"Let's not put the cart before the horse Daniel," said Sam. "How did you know about this? No, don't tell me, archeological research right."

"You could say that." said Daniel "Just promise you won't tell him it came from me until after he has cooled down for at least a year. I value my life."

"Sure thing," said Sam.

Sam thought long and hard about what to do with her new ammunition. She knew she couldn't make it too public. He was a General after all. She didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize his authority on base, just get a good laugh with their circle of friends and family.

O O O O

Sam sat on her contraband for about a week. She was going to be hosting the annual SG1 Indoor/Outdoor BBQ. Each year one of them had a BBQ in January. Sam loved watching the guys run in and out of the house to the grill to fetch the food. Laughing each time she watched them come back inside rubbing their shoulders and blowing breath into their hands to try to keep warm.

She had something a little different planned this year. Daniel and Cassie arrived early to help her set up. She actually had to send Jack out on an errand to get him out of her house for a few hours.

When he returned he received quite a shock. The first was a sign taped to the front door that read "SG1 welcomes "Mr. September" to their annual Indoor/Outdoor BBQ."

He tore down the sign and opened the door to find his "Mr. September" photo taped all over the house. Looking around the room he saw his so-called friends all wearing t-shirts with the photo silk screened across the front. As if on queue they all turned around to reveal the backs which read "Pin-Up Boys make the best Generals." All except Sam's which read "I got lucky with Mr. September."

"You have got to be kidding me!" yelled Jack as he went over and pulled one of the photos from the wall. Daniel threw him a t-shirt which read on the back "Kiss me, I'm Mr. September."

Jack looked back at him and said "How do I know that you are mostly responsible for this?"

"Actually, it was me," said Sam as she walked over to him. She then whispered into his ear and said "Can I be the first to kiss Mr. September?"

"I owe you big don't I?" said Jack as he put his arms around her and rested his forehead against hers.

"Oh, I don't know, I was thinking a full two week vacation, just the two of us, maybe Tahiti or Bora Bora, your treat of course."

"I hope you have enough stashed away in your retirement to support the both of us. I am very quickly burning through mine" he said with a smile.

"You won't mind being a kept man?" asked Sam.

"Uh, sorry to break up your private party," complained Daniel "but some of us are about to die of starvation."

"Okay, okay" groaned Jack, annoyed because he was just about to swoop down and kiss Sam, "do you ever NOT think with your stomach?"

Jack leaned over and pecked Sam on the cheek. "Let's get the food rolling before Danny boy faints from hunger."

**EPILOGUE:**

Lizzie O'Neill was frantically looking through her mother's desk. She was in desperate need of a blank CD to burn her report to and hand into class that day.

"MOM!" she yelled in typical teenage fashion "where did you say those blank CD's were?"

Sam was busy putting laundry away in Jacob's room down the hall and was currently searching for a mysterious smell she had just come across. "If I have to tell this boy one more time not to keep food in his room" she muttered under her breath.

Life is strange, one day you are saving the world from the Replicators the next you are trying to locate a moldy sandwich in your son's room. "The Replicators were easier to deal with," she thought to herself.

Suddenly she heard Lizzie yelling for her from her office. "I'm going to change my name you know!" she yelled back.

It had been a particularly trying morning already. Two teenagers were not much fun when you are trying to get them out the door for school. Jack was in Washington on business so she was on her own.

Normally they had a system down tight. One made breakfast, while the other ran around with the kids locating missing school books and homework. It never failed, even though each of them was supposed to have everything ready the night before, something always went missing.

"Mom, I'm not kidding, you don't want me to fail chemistry do you!" came the desperate reply.

"I told you at breakfast, the CD's are in my top drawer on the right" she yelled back.

Lizzie was in AP courses and had a boat load of school work each night. Not that she couldn't handle it, she was brilliant. She even insisted on skipping a grade even though Sam urged her to stay with her peer group.

Sam had memories of being the young wiz kid, some of them not so great. But Lizzie was as stubborn as her father and even though she could handle the work, she did inherit her father's procrastination gene.

"What is this?" asked Lizzie as she entered her brother's room. "This place stinks" she said as she held her nose with one hand and an old calendar in the other.

Sam was now on her hands and knees looking under the bed. "JACOB DANIEL TEAL'C O'NEILL!" she yelled "GET UP HERE THIS INSTANT!"

"WHAT!" she yelled to Lizzie who was now standing over her. "Oh sorry honey, what did you ask, and did you find the CD?"

"Yes I found the CD, thanks. What is this? Please tell me there are two Jack O'Neill's in the Air Force." She asked her mother with a slight look of shock on her face.

"Nope, that is the same Jack O'Neill we all know and love" said Sam with a big goofy smile. She had not looked at that pin-up calendar in a while. God, she loved that picture.

"Yuck mom, stop looking at it like that," said Lizzie as she handed her mom the calendar "you're giving me the willies."

"You may not want to think about it but your father is quite an attractive man." said Sam.

"Don't remind me," shivered the teenage girl in an exaggerated chill "I just can't think about him that way. Do you know how many of my girlfriends drive me nuts about him? Your dad is so cute, they gush. I mean, he's ancient. "

"Well, I think he's sexy so tell your little girlfriends, paws off. He's all mine" laughed Sam as she re-pinned the calendar up on her cork board above her desk. "I do love September" she said with a sigh. Jack had been gone almost a week and she was now missing him more than ever.

"You know your brother looks just like him," she said to her daughter.

"Oh gross mom, that's even worse" sighed Lizzie. "You know my friend Jennifer? She always wants to study over here just so she can flirt with him."

"Flirt with who?" asked Jacob as he came up the stairs.

"No one!" huffed Lizzie as she ran down the stairs.

"You!" said Sam as she directed her son to his room. "Go get on your hazmat gear and dispose of whatever that is under your bed. And let me remind you for the last time, I hope. Food will not stay fresh under your bed. We have a very nice refrigerator in the kitchen. I hope to not find any food up here in the future, right?"

Later that morning she called Jack. "Guess what your daughter found?" she asked him.

"Knowing how she takes after her mother probably some new form of energy or something, right." He said with a laugh.

"Not today, maybe next week," she said. "She found your Mr. September calendar. She made me promise not to let any of her friends see it, or she would die of embarrassment. You know a few of her friends have a little crush on you."

"I still have not forgiven Danny for giving that to you'" he joked. "Oh, speaking of the Jackson family. He, Sarah and the kids should meet us up at the cabin this weekend Teal'c is in "town" and it would be nice to have a little shin-dig. Why don't you give Sarah a call and I will talk to Danny and T tonight at dinner."

"That sounds great, and hey, don't be too mad at Daniel. The only reason I married you was because you were a pin up boy."


	3. Pin Up Couple

"You won't mind being a kept man?" asked Sam.

"Uh, sorry to break up your private party," complained Daniel "but some of us are about to die of starvation."

"Okay, okay" groaned Jack, annoyed because he was just about to swoop down and kiss Sam, "do you ever NOT think with your stomach?"

Jack leaned over and pecked Sam on the cheek. "Let's get the food rolling before Danny boy faints from hunger."

O O O O

The next few weeks on base were not much fun for Jack. Somehow the picture did get around, he was almost certain it was Daniel. No one dared say anything directly to his face, but instead he endured muffled laughs and giggles and a few young officers turning bright red. One of the airmen even turned a bit red. He tried to really ignore that one.

Sam was having the time of her life. Little did Jack know it was she who was guilty of letting the picture out. She had innocently posted it on her laptop as her screen saver. She had to admit, the picture did affect her in 'that" way. She enjoyed looking at it each time she booted up.

First she thought that someone must have seen it and somehow hacked into her system to get it. She knew that was next to impossible. She then guessed that the security team must have zoomed in on it with one of the cameras and done their little dirty work from there.

The picture was first found in the ladies locker room. Sam had walked in on a few of her female colleagues collected in a corner having a gossip session about something. She tried not to take notice.

She then heard one of the ladies say "Can you believe that this magnificent body has been hidden from us for all these years. Generals are not supposed to be this hot."

One of the ladies suddenly turned around and saw Sam and elbowed her friend. "Colonel

O'Neill, I mean Colonel Carter, we didn't hear you come in," stammered the young Lieutenant.

Sam knew that people joked about calling her "Colonel O'Neill" this was the first time someone had slipped right to her face. She just smiled and said "Don't worry I don't mind."

"Sorry," she continued as she shoved the picture in her locker and gathered her stuff "have a nice day Colonel Carter."

As the group of ladies was leaving the locker room Sam couldn't resist. She leaned over to the Lieutenant, "I like that picture too, it was my laptop that security borrowed it from."

The next was the cafeteria. Jack was staying over on base and was rummaging for some food around 1AM. He went over to a pantry and when he opened the door he got the shock of his life.

There he was in all his glory "Mr. September" staring right back at him.

He did what he thought best, grabbed his snack and headed for his quarters.

The next morning the kitchen crew got a big surprise when the opened the pantry to find their much loved photo was now autographed.

The picture was the hottest thing on the SGC black market, almost hotter than the rumors of Jack and Sam.

As expected, they were getting pretty hot. Amazingly, the rumors were kept to the base. No one outside of the SGC was the wiser. Everyone was so accustomed to keeping their life on base top secret that the issue of Jack and Sam seemed to be regarded in the same way.

They knew that the couple had laid their lives down for Earth on countless occasions. The secrecy for their relationship was a sort of a "thank you" from a base that respected them and would gladly risk the court marshal.

It was also decided that the General was also a much nicer guy to be around. So why blow something that was making everyone's life better.

Jack and Sam were doing everything they could to think of ways to make their relationship legal. One of them could retire. Both of them could retire. One of them could get reassigned. The list went on and on.

They kept everything very low key, Jack was former black ops, keeping this relationship a secret should have been a piece of cake.

That was until the auction.

O O O O

The planning committee decided that they would draw an even bigger crowd if they scheduled the auction for Valentine's Day. Sam received her notification letter in the mail and showed it to Jack.

"See, you now have an extra month to save your pennies for the auction," she laughed as she handed him the letter one morning.

They were in bed at Sam's one Saturday morning reading the paper and having coffee. She had gotten out of bed to get a refill for the coffee and grabbed the letter off of her desk.

"Oh, great I'm going to need it," said Jack as he gladly accepted the coffee refill. "You know they don't pay Generals all that much more than Colonels."

"Hardly," said Sam "you're new truck says differently. Could that thing be any bigger?"

"Hey, don't knock my truck. I'm not the one with both a vintage Harley and Volvo in their garage."

Sam just smiled over her coffee cup. She loved her Harley and her Volvo coupe. She had rebuilt them both herself.

Jack then got out of bed and went to his overnight bag. "Guess what I got?" he asked with a big grin.

Sam took the letter. "You have got to be kidding me," she said in disbelief of what she was now reading.

Dear General O'Neill:

As a former model for the Stars and Stripes "Men in Uniform" calendar we would like to extend the following invitation.

It is a fond tradition that all former models take part in our annual "Men and Women in Uniform Auction." Each year this event raises countless dollars for our deserving charities. We find that the addition of our past models only enhances the event, whether our models choose to assist with the planning on the committee or with the evening itself.

Yada, yada, yada.

"I get that letter every year. I was actually thinking of taking part this year. Maybe I can rig the auction so that no one else can bid on you" said Jack.

"No way!" said Sam "I think it would be only fitting that you should have to bid for me fair and square. Anyway, just think how embarrassing it would be if only one person bid on me. I have enough anxiety about the whole thing as it is."

"I don't think you have much to worry about," continued Jack "I overheard a few guys in the locker room boasting about how much they were planning on bringing to the auction, with you specifically in mind. A few of them are even planning on pooling together and plan on bringing you out on a group date."

"Thank God McKay is in the Pegasus Galaxy at Atlantis. I don't think I could handle going out on a date with him. He would spend the entire evening telling me how wonderful he was and how he had improved upon my Gate dialing programs."

O O O O

Sam spent the next few weeks at the gym. She always considered herself in pretty good shape, but the thought of being bid on, while wearing a bikini on a stage in front of hundreds of people, terrified her. She was even hitting the tanning booth.

She was actually looking forward to her hours before the auction that she would be spending with the Stars and Stripes beauty crew. This time she would just sit back and let them work their magic.

Jack was getting a bit worried. He hated to see Sam on any kind of diet or serious work out regime. This usually meant that he would be suffering the same fate, he hated diets. Plus, a Sam without chocolate was not a happy Sam.

He never saw her like this before. Suddenly she was worrying about some of the scars on her body. She was even considering backing out at the last minute.

"You have nothing to be worried about," insisted Jack as he was spotting her while she was doing sit-ups in her basement. "You have an absolutely fantastic body that most nineteen year olds would be envious of."

"Thank you, but you are a bit biased," groaned Sam as she came up for her fiftieth.

"Hey, that's not just me talking," said Jack. "I hear the guys in the locker room talk about you all the time."

"Oh, that makes me feel so much better," groaned Sam again. "What else do the guys say about me?"

"Just that you are the hottest female Colonel on base and they hope they win you" he continued.

"I am the only female Colonel on base!" said Sam as she flopped back down onto the sit-up mat.

O O O

The day of the auction finally arrived.


	4. And the Winner Is

The second week in February was approaching and Sam still did not know what Jack had decided about the auction.

Life at the SGC was hectic to say the least. Sam was busy with off-world missions and Jack was still getting used to being the Head Honcho on base.

Keeping their relationship off base wasn't a problem as they were too busy to even try to pay attention to each other. The only real time they spent with each other was at home, generally between the hours of 9 pm and 6 am and unfortunately much of that time was spent sleeping, catching up on paperwork or Sam working out.

Finally, the evening of February 14th arrived. Sam took the day off and reported to the "Beauty Crew" right after lunch. She relaxed as she sat back into the chair.

"Aren't we a much more willing participant" joked Bobbie, a very flamboyant make-up artist who had had the pleasure of working on Sam for the calendar shoot.

"My, my, my, someone has been living at the gym. You could bounce a quarter off that tummy, he said as he patted Sam's now very tight and defined stomach.

"I'm all yours Bobbie," said Sam "beautify me!"

For several hours Sam and Bobbie chatted pleasantly as he and two other people helped Sam get ready for the auction. Sam had to laugh when Bobbie started commenting about the "cuties" that would be escorting each of women on stage.

"Oh, look here comes one now," whispered Bobbie "I could eat him for breakfast!"

Sam turned around to be greeted by her very own Jack O'Neill wearing a tuxedo and looking like he just stepped off the cover of GQ.

Sam leaned over to Bobbie and whispered "I actually know that one, he's my C.O."

"What a shame," replied Bobbie with a long sigh, "all the good ones are either straight or married."

As Jack approached Sam could tell that he had noticed Bobbie checking him out. He was looking a bit uncomfortable. "Colonel Carter, are you almost ready?" he asked looking impatient. "It took me all of twenty minutes to shower, shave and get into my monkey suite. How long have you been sitting here, three hours?

"As a matter of fact Sir, it has been about four" laughed Sam as she stood up out of the chair. She was wearing only a bathrobe. "Is my suit behind the screen?" she asked Bobbie.

"Yes, honey," he said still eyeing Jack. "It's on a hanger, do you need some help?"

Sam was going to have fun with this. "Sure" she said as she looked at Jack and smiled.

Jack grimaced at her as Bobbie joined Sam behind the screen.

"What a rack," squealed Bobbie "it's nice to have a model that can fill out her suit. Are they yours? If not you have to let me know who your surgeon was. I know a few models that could use a great set like that."

Sam heard Jack grind his teeth and grunt. She let out a little giggle. "They're mine, thank you. I think. I wear baggy BDU's everyday so they don't get that much attention. I'm afraid military uniforms are not very flattering. I think they purposefully try to make us all look like men.

"Yes, but don't they all look divine!" gushed Bobbie.

Sam stepped out from behind the screen.

She looked at Jack who was trying to look like he wasn't affected by the site of Sam in her bikini.

He wasn't doing a very good job.

His eyes were literally bugging out of his head and he was moving his mouth as if to say something but no sound was coming out.

"What do you think?" she asked as she bent over to let Bobbie drape her "Miss July" sash around her torso.

Jack now got an even better view of Sam's cleavage. He straightened himself up to full height.

"You are NOT going out there like that!" he exclaimed. He grabbed her bath robe and draped it over her shoulders to cover her up.

"It's not like they haven't all seen it before" laughed Sam "I'm sure they all have the calendar and our pictures are in the program."

"I don't care" said Jack as he protectively tried to stand in front of Sam to block her from anyone's view. "They can stare at the pictures all they like, this is different. They are not going to lay a finger on m……"

"SHH!" warned Sam. She could tell that he was just about to say "my girlfriend" and she new she had to stop him.

"Well, you know what I mean" finished Jack.

"Now, now Sir," said Sam through clenched teeth "remember this is for charity."

Jack tied the bathrobe tight around Sam's waist. "Fine, but remember, I know how to kill a man 100 different ways and still make it look like an accident" he whispered to her.

"Cute" she replied as she removed her bathrobe and checked herself in the mirror one last time.

"Come on, walk me to the stage" said Sam as she hooked her arm through Jacks and headed out of her dressing room. She was enjoying this side of Jack. She liked that he was a bit jealous.

Jack escorted Sam to the model waiting area and went over to find Miss November, the model he would be escorting on stage.

Sam was paired with a slightly round middle aged officer who quite obviously could not take his eyes from her cleavage. He couldn't stop staring at it every time Sam started to make polite conversation. Finally she gave up and just sat and waited for the MC to finish the introductions and get on with the auction.

She peeked over to see Jack politely making conversation with Miss November and every so often he would peek over at her and glare menacingly at her escort.

It was hard but she fought the temptation to start flirting with her escort just to drive Jack nuts.

Finally she heard the MC start to announce Miss January and watched as the pretty young woman and her escort stepped out from behind the curtain to whoops and cat calls. The MC then started the bidding.

After Miss January was auctioned off Mr. January was then led out on stage by an equally beautiful woman wearing an evening gown.

This continued with each month's models. First the female then the male were each paraded around the stage in their appropriate costume and sent off with the highest bidder.

The audience had definitely come prepared. Each model was catching quite a price, each fetching between $2,000.00 and $3,000.00.

Finally a staff member told Sam that Miss July was about to be announced. Sam held her breath and stood up with her escort. She waited outside the curtains and put on her brightest smile.

"Our next model is Miss July," called the MC. Bob, her escort pushed aside the curtain and Sam stepped through. The audience was filled with men and women in black tie and evening gowns.

Sam was led to the end of the stage where she then stood alone and posed for the audience. She could feel her face turn bright red as she heard several men in the audience whistle loudly and call out to her.

She scanned the audience… no Jack. How was he supposed to bid on her? She was hoping that he would be there so that she would not end up with God knows who and a potentially miserable evening.

"Our Miss July is Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter USAF, Deep Space Radar Telemetry" called the MC. "Watch out men, our Miss July not only has a PHD in Astrophysics but is a decorated fighter pilot who flew quite a few missions in the Gulf War. I don't know about you but I think that leads to quite a combination. No wonder this lovely lady was selected to represent the month of our Nation's Independence Day, God Bless America that we have women like our Miss July."

Sam turned around as she was instructed to do and blushed even further as the men in the audience went wild over the MC's description of her.

Suddenly the bidding began.

"Let's start this lovely at $1000, shall we" called the MC.

In no time the men in the audience were in a frenzy calling out bids for a chance to enjoy a dinner date with her.

Where was Jack, he was not amongst the bidders. Then she heard it a very deep voice calling out a bid for $2900.

It was Teal'c! THANK GOD thought Sam, he would come to her rescue.

Many of the men turned to see Teal'c, even though he was dressed in a top hat and tuxedo, he still looked intimidating.

The other men were still bidding. Suddenly Sam recognized another voice, Daniel. THANK GOD again, thought Sam, another hero to rescue her.

She then recognized another voice. This time it was Matthews from the SGC. She saw him with a group of about five other men, all of whom she recognized from the base. This was the group Jack must have spoken about. They had pooled their fund together and were jockeying to out bid everyone else.

SHIT, thought Sam, that could only lead to disaster. She could just picture herself, dressed in her evening gown surrounded by these six eager men all vying for her attention. She could then picture Jack flipping out and stationing them all to the outer edges of the galaxy in retribution.

Teal'c bid again, then Daniel. Her price was slowly escalating. She was now over $4000.

Matthews group were all bent over together strategizing their next bid. Things did not look good for Sam.

She was now over $5000. The MC was in a frenzy of delight crooning on how this one "Lovely" was going to be single handedly responsible for a new Arts and Crafts Center for the DAV Rehab Hospital.

Sam was starting to feel very self-conscience standing their in her red white and blue bikini. Not to mention a bit chilly.

Then she heard it. "How about $10,000!" came a bid from the back of the room.


	5. Mystery Date

_Well, here is the next chapter. Short but sweet, but not the end. Another chapter and epiloge to follow. I could use a beta if anyone is interested. Thank you all for the reviews, I love to hear from you. This story has had more hits than my others combined._

_O O O O_

_She was now over $5000. The MC was in a frenzy of delight crooning on how this one "Lovely" was going to be single handedly responsible for a new Arts and Crafts Center for the DAV Rehab Hospital._

_Sam was starting to feel very self-conscience standing there in her red white and blue bikini. Not to mention a bit chilly._

_Then she heard it. "How about $10,000!" came a bid from the back of the room._

O O O O

_Who was it?_ Sam didn't recognize the voice and she couldn't see who it was past the bright lights of the stage.

"Was that $10,000 Sir" asked the MC.

"That's correct sir, $10,000" said the handsome stranger from the back of the room.

As he confirmed his bid several men, as well as the group from the SGC, let out grunts of disappointment.

"That's $10,000 going once, twice, SOLD to the gentleman with the very generous wallet. I am sure I speak for everyone when I say thank you very much!"

Sam didn't know what to say, _$10,000,_ _WOW, I hope this guy knows he's only getting dinner._

She then walked forward to the end of the stage to meet her date for the evening and shake his hand.

As she looked around she found that her mystery date had disappeared.

She got up quickly, trying hard not to look too disappointed, gracefully took her escorts arm and walked backstage.

As they disappeared behind the curtain Sam turned to her escort "Did you see my bidder?" she asked in desperation.

"No, I'm sorry, I couldn't see past the lights" he said. "I didn't recognize the voice, he had a strange accent."

Sam gave a deep sigh, "well I am off to get changed, have fun and happy bidding." She knew he was intent on bidding on a few of the ladies himself.

As Sam changed into her evening gown she started to get a bit worried. This calendar was sold all over the world and the auction was famous. Her bidder could be anyone from anywhere. What did she get herself into?

At the end of the auction each of the models was to be introduced to their date in the front foyer where cocktails were being served. Everyone was gathered, both the winners and the losers. The MC was announcing them one by one and finally it was Sam's turn.

"And let's have a big round of applause for our beautiful Miss July, Lt. Col. Samantha Carter of NORAD" the MC paused for the applause. "Now let's have another big round of applause for her lucky date for the evening Mr. Howard Thorp."

A huge round of applause rang out as the mysterious gentleman walked up to Sam and gave a slight bow. He was a handsome man with kind features and sparkling grayish blue eyes.

He then offered Sam his arm and escorted her out of the room. Sam kept looking sideways at her date. She had no idea who it was, but so far he seemed very nice. Her only question was. _Where was Jack?_

He was still no where to be found. As she was leaving the room with her date she looked around to find Daniel and Teal'c who just looked at her and shrugged their shoulders.

At the door he helped with her wrap guided her toward a black stretch limousine. The driver quickly came around and opened the door for them.

As she slid into the limo she looked around to assess the situation. She couldn't help it. Even though every bidder who registered was thoroughly screened she was still worried. She had encountered too many surprises on distant planets. She had learned her lesson before.

Her date slid in and took a seat directly across from her. As soon as the driver got into the front seat they quickly pulled away.

"Mr. Thorp" said Sam quickly "thank you for your kind donation, I am sure it will be put to good use."

"You're quite welcome Colonial Carter, but I am not the one whom you should thank." Suddenly there was a flash of blue light and the kind gentleman in the tuxedo transformed into Thor.

"Thor!" squealed Sam with delight as she reached over and hugged her very favorite little grey alien. "Was that a hologram? Wait, don't answer that I'll find out later. Where's General O'Neill? Did he put you up to this?"

"Indeed" he replied, a bit surprised by Sam's outburst and sudden show of affection. The Asguard were not accustomed to physical contact, needless to say hugging. "If you would kindly release me, I will beam General O'Neill in so that he may continue your date."

"Oh, Sorry" she said a bit embarrassed "beam away."

"Thank you." he replied as he straightened himself. "Colonial Carter, when General O'Neill contacted me to plan this charade he seemed quite anxious and even more protective of you than I have usually observed him." With that said he sort of smiled and continued "congratulations and enjoy the rest of your evening." When he finished speaking he disappeared in a beam of white light.

Seconds later another beam of light appeared and Jack arrived right next to Sam, still dressed in his tux and wearing a grin from ear to ear.


	6. Surprise!

_**Well here is the next chapter. I am pretty sure where this is going, I hope you all like it.**_

_O O O O_

"_Thank you." he replied as he straightened himself. "Colonial Carter, when General O'Neill contacted me to plan this charade he seemed quite anxious and even more protective of you than I have usually observed him." With that said he sort of smiled and continued "congratulations and enjoy the rest of your evening." When he finished speaking he disappeared in a beam of white light._

_Seconds later another beam of light appeared and Jack arrived right next to Sam, still dressed in his tux and wearing a grin from ear to ear._

_O O O O _

"Surprise" he said with a mischievous grin.

"This is a wonderful surprise," said Sam as she reached over and gave him a big hug and a kiss. "You had me worried there for a minute."

"You'll never be bored" he said as he pulled her over to sit closer to him.

"That I am certain of" she replied with one of her special smiles.

"So, are you ready for a fantastic evening out on the town?" he asked as he took her hand in his.

"Are you sure that is a good idea?' she asked. "We are trying to keep this incognito aren't we? Isn't that why you asked Thor for that big favor?"

"Well sort of. Are you ready for your next surprise?" he asked with a big grin.

"I don't know if I can handle much more, but shoot."

"Well my little charity donation was thanks to a promotion, I had a meeting with Henry Hayes the other day," he said with a bit of a worried look. He was not certain of what her reaction was going to be to his next news.

"The Henry Hayes, you mean President Hayes?" she asked.

"Yup, the one and only"

"What are you about to tell me? And why do you look really nervous all of a sudden?" she asked.

"Well, it's like this," he started. "George wants to retire, and by retire I mean oversee a fleet of new star cruisers. Well, he needed someone to take over his job." At this moment Jack paused, giving Sam a second to put two and two together. "And President Hayes came to the table with some really good bargaining chips."

"And they are?" she asked, still waiting for the big surprise she could sense was around the corner.

"Well at first I turned him down, I mean things are going so great here. But then out of the blue he said, without even blinking mind you, that he had found a way for us to _come out of the closet_."

"He said WHAT?" she sort of yelled, practically knocking Jack off of the seat.

"Well, I guess George still has his ear in the SGC grapevine, that and I guess we have not been doing the fantastic job we thought we were keeping us a secret."

"Well," she said "don't keep me in suspense, what is his solution? You heading up Homeworld Security won't exactly take me out of your chain of command."

"He wants to transfer you to Area 51 to head research and development and lend you out to the SGC for special cases." Jack smiled as he said this. He knew that if Sam could have her choice of jobs anywhere. That would be the one. He was excited for her, especially knowing his next surprise.

"Area 51!" she shouted this time, actually knocking Jack over when she hugged him. "I've always wanted to go to area 51. I mean sure I would miss the away missions, but to be able to spend all the time I want in my lab…." Then she stopped. "Jack you do realize that D.C. and Nevada are several thousand miles apart. When would we see each other? I don't think I would like being that far away from you…"

"Here" he said as he handed her a small white oval crystal. "It matches mine."

Sam took the crystal. "Is this Asguard?" she asked, already knowing it was a transportation crystal.

"A gift from Thor, he said to call it early wedding gift."

"Oh Jack how wonderful… Wait did you say wedding gift?" This night was turning out to be a little more than she could handle.

"If you'll have this worn out old soldier, yes?" he asked. He then reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. "What do you say, wanna' get hitched?"

Sam just smiled, "let me see, I get to work at Area 51 right?"

Jack pretended to look hurt.

"Sure, why not" she said with a giggle as she leaned over and gave him a kiss.

"Hey, no giggling colonial" he said against her lips as he pulled her even closer.

**_O O O _**

**_I usually don't mention this but... Reviews are greatly appreciated. I got used to seeing you all in my in box!_**


	7. Yes!

"_If you'll have this worn out old soldier, yes?" he asked. He then reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. "What do you say, wanna' get hitched?"_

_Sam just smiled, "let me see, I get to work at Area 51 right?"_

_Jack pretended to look hurt._

"_Sure, why not" she said with a giggle as she leaned over and gave him a kiss._

"_Hey, no giggling colonial" he said against her lips as he pulled her even closer._

O O O O

"How about now?" he asked with a big grin.

"Sure, that sounds great. No planning, no fuss. I'm not the big wedding type, and knowing our friends and everyone on base, it would turn into a three ring circus. Wait, I know that look…What do you have planned?" she asked.

Jack reached back into his jacket pocket and flipped open his phone. "Danny, tell Thor that plan A is in motion. We'll meet you, T and Cassie there."

"You ready" he asked.

"Sure, but for what" she asked.

"To get married of course" he replied with a devilish grin.

Sam gave Jack one of her special smiles, "are you serious?"

"Yahsureyoubetcha"

Suddenly there was another flash of light and this time both Jack and Sam disappeared.

O O O O

Seconds later they were all standing in a hotel room several hundred miles away.

"Cassie, Danny, T, Thor" said Jack as he greeted each of them "we all set?"

"Hey Jack, Sam" said Daniel. "Yah, I just called them. They're ready when we are."

Cassie was practically jumping up and down. "This is so cool!"

Teal'c gave his customary nod to each of them.

"Greetings General O'Neill, Colonel Carter" said Thor who was still cloaked in his Mr. Thorp hologram.

"Let's get the show on the road then" said Jack as he took Sam's hand and walked toward the door.

A limousine met them the parking garage. Sam chose this moment to ask a very important question. "Where are we?"

"You'll see soon enough" was all Jack had to say in response.

When they exited the parking garage Sam looked out the window to see the bright lights of Las Vegas. "Vegas!" she squealed with delight "I love Vegas!"

Several minutes later they pulled up in front of a small stucco church located at the end of the "Strip." They were greeted by the minister and his wife.

"Mr. O'Neill, Ms. Carter, it's a pleasure to meet you" he said with a smile. "Right this way."

The group followed them into the church. "Your dress is absolutely lovely" said the minister's wife.

"You won't believe it but I had no idea I would be getting married today" said Sam with a big smile. "Jack bought me at charity auction for $10,000 dollars."

"Oh, really" said the minister's wife looking quite surprised. "That's the first time I've heard that one, and I thought I had heard them all."

The church was beautiful. Its interior had beautifully painted stucco walls and was very tastefully decorated. Not what you would expect for a Las Vegas wedding chapel.

O O O O

"You may now kiss the bride" said the minister.

Jack and Sam leaned in to share a very special kiss. It was as if the world had disappeared around them. It had finally happened.

When their special moment ended they turned toward their friends who greeted them with great applause.

Suddenly an "Uh, Oh" was heard from the photographer.

As if in unison a "What?" was heard from the crowd.

"I am so embarrassed, I forgot to put film in the camera" she said.

They all looked at her, then to each other. Suddenly the entire group burst into laughter.

"Do you mind going through the motions, just so that I can get the shots?" she asked.

"It's taken us nine years to get here," chuckled Jack, "I don't think it would be a problem."

After they had gone through the ceremony again (the quick version) Jack and Sam signed their wedding license with Cassie, Daniel, Teal'c and Mr. Thorp as their witnesses.

O O O O

Epilogue:

It was February 14th and the O'Neill clan and guests were settling down for cocktails in the sitting room.

"Eh, hem" said Jacob, a young man of sixteen and looking more like his father everyday. "Can I have everyone's attention" he said a bit louder to be heard over the mill over conversation and music.

He motioned for Lizzie to turn off the stereo. Lizzie now a young girl of fourteen looked exactly like her mother, but definitely had her fathers' sense of humor.

"Thank you" he said trying desperately to appear very grown up.

"In honor of celebrating our parents' anniversary, Lizzie, Cassie and I worked tirelessly to put together this gift."

Cassie then walked in carrying a very large box which she placed in her "foster" parents' laps.

"It took a lot of research, several paper cuts and a pretty bad episode with some very strong glue." He then turned to look directly at his mom and dad. "Well, don't keep them all waiting…"

Sam untied the ribbon and Jack lifted off the lid. She pulled out a very thick scrapbook and placed on the coffee table so that everyone could look at it.

"Oh, kids this is wonderful" she gushed. She then opened the cover to reveal pictures of both she and Jack as babies. The next several pages showed pictures of both Jack and Sam growing up, each mirroring the other in age. As a joke there were a couple of pictures of just Jack (well he was ten years older, he needed more space)

Finally there was a picture of the original SG-1 team. It was an official picture taken in the conference room in front of the flags. "Where did you dig this up" asked Jack.

Jacob looked over at his Uncle Daniel "Archaeological research" he said with a big grin.

The next few pages showed pictures of the team at various outings, some even at the base, in the cafeteria or someone's office.

Sam then turned that page to see both she and Jack's calendar pictures.

"Why do these photos constantly pop up" she asked no one in particular.

"Well Sam" joked Daniel "when you pose in a bikini for a pin-up calendar that is distributed to millions of people around the world, you will get noticed."

Sam just looked up at him and grimaced. She knew he was personally responsible for the picture floating around for the last 18 years. He must have about a million copies stashed somewhere.

Next were the infamous Vegas wedding pictures, Sam and Jack just looked at each other and smiled. It was one of the happiest days of their lives.

The next pages contained pictures of a much more formal wedding. Sam was in an elegant cream satin wedding dress and Cassie and the rest of the bridesmaids were in cobalt blue. Jack looked incredibly handsome in his dress blues, Teal'c, Daniel and Mr. Thorp were all in tuxedos.

"Leave it to our parents to have two weddings" said Lizzy.

"Well, we tried to protest" said Sam "but the rest of our friends and family wouldn't hear of it."

"I remember being threatened by several people on base and by the President I think" laughed Jack. "Everyone complained that they had all waited too long to miss out on the social event of the century. Far be it from me to pass up on a gigantic wedding cake!"

Everyone laughed as Sam turned the pages to show pictures of Sam, Jack and their friends on various vacations and at the mountain house.

The pages went on the show a very pregnant Sam and then pictures of a very new Jacob Daniel Teal'c O'Neill with his two very proud parents. Next were various family portraits and family outings.

Then again, a very pregnant Sam, and a very new little baby Elizabeth Janet O'Neill.

The album continued to show snapshots of the O'Neill family, various outings, family picnics and vacations. Always surrounded by their closest friends, it seems that SG-1 never really did brake up. Just took on a life of its own outside of Cheyenne Mountain.

"That was wonderful kids, thank you very much" said a tearful Sam as she reached over and hugged each of her children tightly.

"Did you have to find those pictures of me looking so fat and pregnant though, I thought I hid all of those. It seemed every time I turned around there was your father with a camera and a measuring tape to see how big my belly had gotten."

"I seem to remember Jack putting on a few each time as well" chuckled Daniel.

"Hey you try not gaining weight when your wife is eating everything that wasn't nailed down."

Jack was greeted with a light slap from Sam. "It was the first time in 10 years I didn't have to stay in shape for the military. I was going to enjoy it as much as I could. What was your excuse?"

Sarah then piped in. "Daniel, I don't think you have much room to talk" as she reached around and pinched a little pit of "spare tire" from Daniels tummy.

Jack then leaned over and whispered in his wife's ear. "No matter what you'll always be my pin-up girl."

THE END

**_Author's Note: I wrote some of this on personal experience. My husband and I actually eloped in Las Vegas at the Mission of the Bells wedding chapel. The part with the film is actually true! Unfortunately, I came down with the flu the very next day and spent the rest of our vacation in bed, for all the wrong reasons. We celebrated our 8th anniversary in March. We were engaged but our Vegas wedding was a spur of the moment decision. When we got back we didn't tell our families for 4 months. We eventually told them all but still ended up having our original planned wedding the next year. I love telling this story, I wouldn't change a thing!_**


End file.
